Two histories. One relationship. A narrative you can create together.

The stories we bring into love

Each partner arrives with a history of relationships, emotional expectations, disappointments, and ways of protecting themselves. These histories shape not only what we want from love, but what we fear, what we notice, and how we respond when we feel misunderstood.

Over time, two individual narratives may become woven into a familiar interaction. One partner's withdrawal may intensify the other's pursuit; one person's need to be understood may be experienced by the other as criticism. These examples are possibilities, not fixed roles. What matters is discovering the particular pattern that has developed between you.

Understanding each person's part

My work begins with helping each partner understand their own psychological narrative and how it becomes active in the relationship. Sometimes this understanding develops alongside individual psychoanalytic work. When partners already see their own therapists, we explore their histories directly within the couples sessions.

The task is not to decide who is right or wrong or to presume equal responsibility for every difficulty. It is to understand how a shared pattern is sustained, where each person has room for change, and how partners might begin to experience one another differently.

When recognition comes sooner

Progress does not necessarily mean that old patterns disappear. A meaningful change may be that partners notice a familiar interaction sooner, become less immersed in it, and find their way back to one another more readily.

As this awareness becomes emotionally available—not simply intellectually understood—couples may discover moments of playfulness or even shared laughter about a pattern that once left them feeling hurt or alone. This is not humor imposed on pain. It is something that can emerge when both partners have enough understanding and safety to recognize the pattern together.

A new relational narrative

The goal is not to erase either person's history. It is to help the relationship become a place where a different experience can develop: one less governed by familiar expectations and more open to curiosity, recognition, and genuine connection. In this sense, the new narrative belongs to the relationship itself.